V-day!

A lot of people are feeling lazy today, maybe?
Not much people in the hospital lobby right now.
And the doctors are late.
Well, that's not unusual, I suppose.

It's kind of funny how V-day fell on a Monday.
The start of the working week,
usually the most hated day,
the day when it's hard to get out of bed,
yeah, all that and more.

But for today, I guess most people
are aching to start their day,
maybe they've got a lot to look forward to,
a lot of plans with their dates,
yeah, all that and more.

I used to hate V-day, you know.
If you had someone give you something,
it would've been embarrassing.
If no one gave you something,
it would've been sad.
All these conflicting emotions.

Kapal lang ng fezlak ko!
I suppose that's how I was dati.
I've gotten over that ambivalence.
Instead of mulling over V-day,


I focus on myself and what I have to do.
Afterall, it's still a normal day.
So, Happy Valentine's day to y'all! :)

It's One of Those Days

It's 5 minutes to lunch the last time I checked.

Gloomy outside, a little breezy,
the day hints of melancholy
and as much as I want to avoid it,
I can't help but absorb the atmosphere.

I said I wouldn't post any sad stuff here
but I can't help it.
Let's let it slide just this once.

Maybe the idea of being new @ work,
having no close friends to hang out with,
and being out of my comfort zone,
helps aggravate my 'mild misery'.

I was happy yesterday.
Happy, as in relaxed, calm, and content.
Not ecstatic or laughing my head off.
Not great joy; More of a quiet sort.

I realized that happiness
is not something you look for.
It's just something you have to be.
Something you do.
Your choice, your doing.

Lemme try to condition myself again.
Reading notes about happiness works.
Now I'm off to lunch.

Afraid to Hope

Finally.
I've got something to do.
I know everyone is not happy
'cept for my boss, probably.
So what if it's not what I've studied for?
So what if it doesn't pay that much?
(or if it pays nothing at all)
So what if it's not what they all want for me?
I'm just glad I've got something to do.
I'm just glad someone wants me.
Yeah, it's scary.
It's a whole new world.
There's tons I've got to learn
And a lot more for me to experience.
It's not a lot of fun,
but it's not a total dump either.
There's lots of people to be nice to,
but everyone is nice
at least for now.
So, it's not all bad.
I'm just taking it a day at a time.
Trying not to overthink,
or to overdream,
or to overexpect.
If no one is happy for me,
then at least I'll be happy for myself.

Random Stuff

I don't think I'll ever have the time to edit this particular post.
I'm not even sure if I have anything worth posting here.
Just want to say hi to my blog.
It's been a while. Really.

So the thing is (sorry TL can't help it)
I found this job ad
It starts on the 6th and I'm still here,
waiting
for wut, I dunno.
Or maybe I'm, once again, in my signature zombie-like trance.

It happens when something important occurs in my life.
I can't decide as quickly as I want to and yet I know,
I really, really know how important this thing is.
I mean, camon.
I've wanted this kind of job for a long time
And now it's here. humehello na
wut the hell am I doing, dumbstruck?
ngrrr...get.out.of.this.trance. NOW.
yun lang.

A New Path

An opportunity has been given to me.
At first, I thought it was impossible.
Too late. No more time for second chances.

I thought more on it though,
and I realized that despite the shock and negativity
that this little event brought on,
there was a tiny spark of excitement in me.

The thought of actually making things happen,
the 'what if it can be ' feeling,
I felt a sense of wonder.

I decided to take it on.
A challenge, perhaps?
Most probably.

I'm going back to school.
Hopefully. :)