It's One of Those Days

It's 5 minutes to lunch the last time I checked.

Gloomy outside, a little breezy,
the day hints of melancholy
and as much as I want to avoid it,
I can't help but absorb the atmosphere.

I said I wouldn't post any sad stuff here
but I can't help it.
Let's let it slide just this once.

Maybe the idea of being new @ work,
having no close friends to hang out with,
and being out of my comfort zone,
helps aggravate my 'mild misery'.

I was happy yesterday.
Happy, as in relaxed, calm, and content.
Not ecstatic or laughing my head off.
Not great joy; More of a quiet sort.

I realized that happiness
is not something you look for.
It's just something you have to be.
Something you do.
Your choice, your doing.

Lemme try to condition myself again.
Reading notes about happiness works.
Now I'm off to lunch.

Afraid to Hope

Finally.
I've got something to do.
I know everyone is not happy
'cept for my boss, probably.
So what if it's not what I've studied for?
So what if it doesn't pay that much?
(or if it pays nothing at all)
So what if it's not what they all want for me?
I'm just glad I've got something to do.
I'm just glad someone wants me.
Yeah, it's scary.
It's a whole new world.
There's tons I've got to learn
And a lot more for me to experience.
It's not a lot of fun,
but it's not a total dump either.
There's lots of people to be nice to,
but everyone is nice
at least for now.
So, it's not all bad.
I'm just taking it a day at a time.
Trying not to overthink,
or to overdream,
or to overexpect.
If no one is happy for me,
then at least I'll be happy for myself.