Remember Patience

So I'm to start as a chat support rep on June 17.
Orientation is on the 13th.
And yes I'm putting that all here to remind myself of these V.I. dates.

I'm not really excited. As we speak. Or as I type.
Maybe it's the heat and the way I'm sweating like a pig right now.
Or maybe it's just me.
Yes, yes, no to gloomy stuff here.
I can still remember what I said in my past post.

Still, where will I post these ramblings?
these doubts? these weaknesses?
these weakening of the spirit?
okaay, emo. I know.

Maybe I'm just feeling down because of boredom?
I know I saw someone post something like,
'so bored, starting to be depressed'
or something like that.
Maybe it's just that.

Galing sa Tumblr

Nagtrabaho ba ko para mag-Inet?
Walang masyadong pasyenteng pumapasok ngayon dito sa ospital.

Trabaho ko lang naman eh mag-admit. Sabi nung isang bantay, reception.

I resent that.

Di naman sa minamaliit ko ang mga receptionist.

Haller. Maliitin ko ang beauty nila? Kapal ng mukha ko.

Yun nga kasi eh. Di ako receptionist. Admission/Information Officer ako.

Whatever that is.

I know, I know. Hunghang na kung hunghang.

Pasukin ba naman ang trabaho na wala kang alam.

Eh sa Bum nga ako eh. Desperado i-assert ang dignity by means of a job.

And now here it is.

Lunod. Windang. Lost. Pagala-gala.

Sinusubukang makuha ang approval ng boss at officemates.

Trying to fit in. As usual.

Be Happy! :)

It takes a lot of effort to be happy,
but, it only takes a small thing to ruin my day.

I've recently learned that happiness
is not something you find.
It can't be sought, because
we already have it.

The trouble is, we don't see it.

Happiness is everywhere.
It's in the everyday things.
We only have to open ourselves to it.

You can probably tell
that I've written this
to remind myself what happiness is, right?

V-day!

A lot of people are feeling lazy today, maybe?
Not much people in the hospital lobby right now.
And the doctors are late.
Well, that's not unusual, I suppose.

It's kind of funny how V-day fell on a Monday.
The start of the working week,
usually the most hated day,
the day when it's hard to get out of bed,
yeah, all that and more.

But for today, I guess most people
are aching to start their day,
maybe they've got a lot to look forward to,
a lot of plans with their dates,
yeah, all that and more.

I used to hate V-day, you know.
If you had someone give you something,
it would've been embarrassing.
If no one gave you something,
it would've been sad.
All these conflicting emotions.

Kapal lang ng fezlak ko!
I suppose that's how I was dati.
I've gotten over that ambivalence.
Instead of mulling over V-day,


I focus on myself and what I have to do.
Afterall, it's still a normal day.
So, Happy Valentine's day to y'all! :)

It's One of Those Days

It's 5 minutes to lunch the last time I checked.

Gloomy outside, a little breezy,
the day hints of melancholy
and as much as I want to avoid it,
I can't help but absorb the atmosphere.

I said I wouldn't post any sad stuff here
but I can't help it.
Let's let it slide just this once.

Maybe the idea of being new @ work,
having no close friends to hang out with,
and being out of my comfort zone,
helps aggravate my 'mild misery'.

I was happy yesterday.
Happy, as in relaxed, calm, and content.
Not ecstatic or laughing my head off.
Not great joy; More of a quiet sort.

I realized that happiness
is not something you look for.
It's just something you have to be.
Something you do.
Your choice, your doing.

Lemme try to condition myself again.
Reading notes about happiness works.
Now I'm off to lunch.

Afraid to Hope

Finally.
I've got something to do.
I know everyone is not happy
'cept for my boss, probably.
So what if it's not what I've studied for?
So what if it doesn't pay that much?
(or if it pays nothing at all)
So what if it's not what they all want for me?
I'm just glad I've got something to do.
I'm just glad someone wants me.
Yeah, it's scary.
It's a whole new world.
There's tons I've got to learn
And a lot more for me to experience.
It's not a lot of fun,
but it's not a total dump either.
There's lots of people to be nice to,
but everyone is nice
at least for now.
So, it's not all bad.
I'm just taking it a day at a time.
Trying not to overthink,
or to overdream,
or to overexpect.
If no one is happy for me,
then at least I'll be happy for myself.