For You II

I woke up today in total darkness.
But it was ok because I felt you beside me.
Your warmth.
Your heaviness.
Your silent, constant breathing that tells me you're asleep.
It gave me such joy because you were with me.
I searched around for my phone and read your message:
'To be honest I'm scared because you're scared'
I'm sorry for scaring you, my love.
I'm scared of hurting you, yes.
But I'm scared of losing you even more.
That, I've just realized at this very moment.
And it hurts when I think about how you will leave.
I've never been like this before.
Always, I have an exit plan before I go into any situation.
- into any relationship.
But not with you.
I never thought about this exit plan.
I just went with the flow when I started with you.
I'm not even thinking of an exit plan -
simply because my brain can't accept the fact that you won't be with me.
I'm scared.
I've always relied on myself.
I've never shared myself with anyone.
Not even family.
And now, I'm opening myself up to you.
Relying on you. Depending on you.
If you leave me, I'm lost.
You'll be my karma.
And I've realized that you're not beside me.
It was my brain playing cruel tricks on me.
I miss you.
I love you.
Don't leave me.

For You

I don't believe in Absolutes.

The Universe possibly doesn't have an end.
There is no such thing as Forever.

But let's talk about you.

To be honest, I never thought we would be together.
I've always thought of you as someone who's into the demure and feminine type.
So. Not. Me.
When you were into another girl who fit that category I've thought,
'How lucky she is to have your admiration and love.'
And now I am saying,
How lucky I am to have your admiration and love.
You know that right?

I'm scared.
Afraid to trust your belief in the Absolute.
But I trust you.
I trust in your love and your intention to stay with me.
Perhaps not forever but I know you will try.
I'm not the forever-type of girl anyway.
And I will try too.
I have never stayed long enough with anyone before.
I hope it's you I'll stay with.
Not forever.
As long as you're happy with me, I'll be here.

It's raining.
How apt. My blog started one rainy day, you know.
I've had lots of firsts with you.
I hope the lasts are yours too.

You don't have to make me believe in absolutes.
You're here. That's good enough for me.
See you in a bit. ^^

Requesting for Vacation Leavesssss

I need a rest.

Hearing others out takes a toll on you
Giving way wears me out
Working for free tires me

I want to go to my happy place.
Wherever that is
No work
No issues
I'll be someone new.
When I get back I'll have new views
New perspectives
Relaxed. Composed. Focused.

I'm not getting any younger
The future looms over me
I have to either face it head on
Or hunched over, cowering.
Gotta be prepared
So, please give me rest.

@ Work: Insubordination

Currently at work...

Nothing to do. 
Errr...I'm actually channeling insubordination.
Let's see where it goes.
Right now, I'm thinking, 'To Hell with the consequences'
Wonder what's going to happen tomorrow.
Brrrr...

Don't Fall For Me

Don't fall for me
Don't mistake my smiles for more than friendship
If I like you I'd ignore you
I'd avoid you like the plague

If you say, 'my heart is yours'
Take it back now
You'll have to thaw it out
For the ice in me is fierce

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
Hurt you or make you love me
I never flirted
I just needed a friend

If you were the flower in my field
The one I cherish from afar
Then I'd say, 'my heart is yours'
Softly that is, so only the wind hears.

...Sorry I just had to get this out of my head.